Merry Christmas!

As I sit here writing this it is 7:30pm on Christmas Eve.  I just put my boys to bed and prayed for their salvation through Christ Jesus.  Kyle and I usually read The Gospel Story Bible by Marty Machowski to Ethan before bed.  We will eventually read it to both boys but Jaron is a little too young to sit still for very long and Ethan would get way too distracted with his brother in the room.  My point is that I want my focus for Christmas (and everyday) to be on Christ's birth and what he came to do on this earth.  So I read to him from this book and tonight we went directly to the birth of Jesus.  Even though its a children's bible, it is always good to hear the gospel!  The end of the sections in the book always has a way to pull everything into perspective.  Here it is:

"Did you know God planned the exact moment when Jesus would come into the world to save us from our sins? Paul tells us that "when the fullness of time had come," God sent his Son to redeem us so we could be brought into God's family (Galations 4:4). God had our salvation all planned out even before he made the world (Ephesians 1:4). So it was easy for God to tell Joseph that Jesus was the one to "save his people from their sins" (Matthew 1:21).  Did you know that Mary's son Jesus was both man and God at the same time?  That is very important.  As a man, Jesus carried our sins for us on the cross and took our punishment.  And because he was God, he grew up to heal the sick and raise the dead.  Death could not win over him!  Jesus came back to life on the third day so that some day we can rise and be with him in heaven."

It was so nice to read that tonight.  God plans every detail and I know that He is sovereign and gracious!  I thank the Lord for my salvation through Christ and pray that my children will have the same salvation and eternal life.  I have been overwhelmed with my little Jaron being sick for almost a week and I have been sad to see him sick.  But I know God has planned this part out in my life just as Romans 8:28 says "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose." God has me in this trial to make me more like Christ and to trust him more fully with every aspect in my life and my kids lives!  On the back of our Christmas card this year we wrote "God's love through Christ's sacrifice gives believers joy and peace everyday!  We celebrate and remember Christ's birth because he came humbly to this earth to save us from our sins. Praise to the Lord, the Almighty, the King of creation!"  He deserves all praise and glory for ever and ever.  Even in the midst of my child being sick and the unknown for tomorrow, I can always trust Him fully and have peace and joy because of Christ's work! 

Jaron’s Birth-day 2012

What another blessing to find out we were pregnant again for the second time!  We went to each grandparent's house and shared the news by having Ethan wear a shirt that had "Big Brother Dec. 2012" written on it! It was another smooth pregnancy, thank the Lord. It is always so neat when you feel a baby moving in your tummy! It is also amazing to see the detailed workings of the human body that the Lord has created in little baby form!

I wrote this on Feb. 2nd 2013; Jaron was 6 ½ weeks old.


I was thinking Jaron was coming on time because I felt like my body was more prepared.  But God had a different idea. And I had another opportunity to trust Him in the unknown of the situation.  Jaron’s due date was December 9th, three days before his cousin’s due date but his cousin was born on the 6th of December.  I again had to schedule an induction.  (December 18th)

When we first got to the hospital and last belly pic.

This time my cervix was dilated to 2 ½ cm and 50% effaced.  We went into the hospital at 8:00 am.  I was started on pitocin at 10am.  I wanted to go and walk around to help the pitocin work.  We walked back and forth twice and I was having pretty good contractions at that point so I decided to go in the room and sit on a birth/exercise ball.  At this point, I was unsure if I was going to get the epidural or not. Kyle and I were playing scramble (a game on the iPhone) in between contractions. During contractions, I would sit and sway on the ball trying to relax and take deep abdominal breaths.  Kyle was a great support and was massaging and pressing on my lower back during contractions.  My mom was a great support to Kyle, giving him what he needed to help me.  I asked for a popsicle at around 12 pm and finished half of it because the intensity of the contractions was increasing significantly.  The nurse checked me and I was at a 5!  I wasn't expecting that at all!  I was even telling Kyle… “Don’t feel bad if I am just at a 3.”  I was progressing pretty quickly and the doctor asked if I wanted my water broken and we said no.  Dr. Kim was our doctor and he was very understanding and cooperative with our wishes for our birth.  I think by this point they said that since I was in pretty active labor that they wouldn't turn up my pitocin and I was able to get through the contractions and breathe through them. I think at that point I told myself this pain is only temporary and I can do this with God’s strength.  I also think if my water had broken I may have gone with an epidural(because of my previous experience with Ethan) but I decided not to.  I stayed in bed after they checked me because after that my contractions got much stronger. I could tell I was in transition because I felt like I could just start balling, but I kept it in. I layed down and Kyle held my hand and told me encouraging things.

 After a little while, I was feeling “pushy” and they decided to check me. At which point I was dilated to 8 cm.   I remember once in-between contractions I sang “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” I tried to focus on the Lord and that this was a temporary pain and I would have my baby soon. It went pretty quick and they checked me after about 2-3 contractions and I was at a 9. My water broke on its own. The nurse called to the doctor and said to get in the room “we are going to have a baby and we are going to have it now.” Once I was ready to push, the doctor had not yet come in the room.  The nurse asked me to push once and said to stop right away.  Jaron was coming!  The doctor came into the room and barely had time to get his gown on and the bed wasn't broken down either (which was fine with me).  The doctor had me push once during a contraction and had me breath the rest of the time after that because our new baby boy was coming without really pushing.  Jaron was born at 2:41pm on December 18th.
It was a challenging and great experience and I was so happy to see and hold Jaron for the first time. I am so thankful to the Lord for the experience of having and raising children!

Daddy and Jaron

First family picture!

Going home!

Ethan's arrival (aka birth story) 2011

It has been a while since we posted any thing on this blog.  It is coming up on Ethan's 2nd birthday and I wanted to share how he arrived into this world.  There isn't any graphic details just birth/labor language.  We are thankful to the Lord for the miracle of life.

Ethan’s Birth Story (written when Ethan was almost 17 months)

I wanted to write a little about Ethan’s birth story.  As much as I can remember because it is almost 17 months ago.
I will start at the beginning.
We found out we were pregnant with Ethan one day before we were supposed to go to an informational meeting for domestic infant adoption.  We were so excited. And you can read more about that here.  I had a very fun and healthy pregnancy.  It was a hot summer and I was at the end of my pregnancy through all of it.  I was trying to be very patient but I was excited to see his little face and be able to hold him in my arms. (Instead of holding him in my belly).  

40 weeks

41 weeks, 5 days

Forty weeks (August 15th), his due date, came and went and we scheduled the induction for August 25th.  We had been going through a Bradley method class to inform us on different options in birth and using more natural methods.  My blood platelets had been dropping through out the pregnancy but never had symptoms of bleeding too much.
We went in to the hospital at 6pm on August 25th for the induction.  The hospital was pretty busy with deliveries.  And we weren’t induced until 11pm that night.  They said I was 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced.  So they started me first on a cervical softener.  We had a difficult time sleeping because the nurses had to come in about every 2 hours and get my vital signs. Also,  Ethan was being monitored through the night and machines were noisy.  We woke up around 7am and they checked me in the morning and I had dilated to a 2 and 70% effaced.  They started me on pitocin.  I was doing fairly well and was in and out of the tub.  I am a little fuzzy on times now and will do my best with details at this point.  At one point, they checked me and said I was at 3cm and they wanted to break my water.  After much thought we decided to have my water broken.  They broke my water and I had two very painful contractions back to back.  It was an eye opener!
At that point, I decided to get into the tub and try and relax.  When I was in the tub, the next contraction came and I felt my body/belly drop and try to bear down/push.  I told Kyle I think I had the urge to push.  The nurse was called in and I got out of the tub and she checked me at which I was only at a 4.  A little too early for pushing.  Every contraction after that I was fighting the urge to push and involuntarily pushing.
I am not sure how long that lasted but everyone was getting concerned that my cervix would swell and tear if I continued.  Actually, my cervix had started to swell at some point.  I decided I needed an epidural to try to continue with a normal delivery and to avoid a c-section.
God is faithful and I know he was there helping.  When I decided to get the epidural they needed to check my platelets again before I got it because they were pretty low when they took them when I first got there the day before.  My platelets went up and I was able to have an epidural.  The anesthesiologist was able to place the epidural in between contractions.  Praise the Lord! After the epidural, they checked me and I was at a 7.  Maybe an hour later I was at 9cm.  And then it was almost time to push. My mom got a call from my sister that she had made it to the hospital (She lives out of town).  Before I started pushing my sister and my dad came in to say hello.  Kyle and my mom stayed in the room when I started pushing.  I pushed for an hour and Ethan was born at 12:09 am on August 27th!  Just barely adding to many birthdays in our family that land on the 27th day of the month.  We were so thankful that Ethan was here and healthy.  God is so gracious; we feel very blessed to have children.

Did God Really Promise That?

I've been reading through a helpful book on humility lately, and I found a particular section on waiting on God in trials to be very thought provoking. The author used the example of an Old Testament prophet who waited on God to fulfill what He had specifically promised. A parallel example might be Abraham waiting for God to make good on His promise to give him a son (Genesis 17:15-21; 21:1-7). There are good lessons to be learned from the examples of these men of faith, but we need to be careful how we apply the Scriptures to our lives.

For example, someone might look at God's promise to Abraham and decide that God has promised to give them a child. What happens when 10 years have gone by and no baby has been conceived? Did they just not have enough faith? Of course not. Or what happens when the single person who longs for a partner never gets married? Has God promised that everyone will get married? Has He promised that you will get that promotion at work? Has He promised to heal you of a specific physical ailment? No.

The fact of the matter is that there are people who never have children, who never get married, and who never get that promotion. People go to their graves every day with desires that were never met.

In my estimation, it is a dangerous teaching to encourage people to "wait on God" to fulfill promises He never made! It undercuts the aspects of suffering in which God wants to teach us to be content in Him alone no matter how He answers our prayers. God wants to grow us more than He wants to give us what we want, because more often than not, what we want is not what we need.

As we wait on the Lord to answer our prayers, we should ask Him what He wants to teach us in this time of waiting. We should seek to find joy and satisfaction in Him, and not in the thing we desire. Psalm 16:11: "In Your presence there is fullness of joy, at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore."

Don't bank on things God hasn't promised in His Word, and be careful how you encourage others who are waiting on Him for something. Remember that Paul asked God to take his thorn away 3 times, but God chose rather to teach Paul humility and dependence through not taking it away (2 Corinthians 12:7-9). Instead, bank on the sure promises of God to you in Christ. Here, your confidence will not be misplaced no matter what is going on in life because the very character of God is at stake.

Infertility and Blessing: Part 3

It was about the end of November 2010 when we decided to go to an informational meeting for domestic infant adoption. We had decided to go that route since we had never been parents before and wanted to start from the beginning with an infant. We were set up to go to the info meeting with Bethany Christian Services, an adoption agency, on Dec. 1st 2010. We were contacted by the director of the meeting that she had a family emergency and had to leave town. The meeting was rescheduled for the following week on Dec. 8th.

I had been checking and charting my basal body temperature daily. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this process, it is more accurate to do it the same time each day or there will be temperature variations. Also, if a woman is pregnant, the temperature will stay up and not lower prior to a woman's cycle.

On Sunday the 5th of December, I woke up early for church and took my temp prior to getting out of bed. My temp had dropped. I thought to myself that it was another month going by without being pregnant. I was encouraged by some friends at church and reminded of God's faithfulness and goodness. We also found out that day that our friends were expecting and due in early August.

On that next morning, I took my temp again prior to getting up. My temp had gone back up! It was very odd because it never has done that before. I tried to hide the chart from Kyle so that if it was just a fluke he wouldn't get his hopes up and if I was pregnant I kinda wanted to surprise him. But I wanted to wait to see if my temp was up still the next day. I was closing in on the end of my cycle.

The next morning (Dec. 7th) came, and I was a little excited as I took my temp without Kyle near. It was still up! Kyle came and took the thermometer from me. (He had seen the temp chart the day before and was curious too). I told him that I was going to take a pregnancy test. He was getting ready to leave for work. I went to the bathroom...and after completing the test, it almost instantly turned positive. I was so shocked and kept saying "We are pregnant!" Kyle was excited too but wanted to compare the test with the instructions to make sure it was positive. :) We praised the Lord together and prayed to the Lord thanking Him for this gift. What an answer to prayer! Kyle didn't want to leave, and he left late. Later that day, I read Hannah's prayer in 1 Samuel chapter 2 and meditated on the Lord's sovereignty, strength, and holiness. I was in awe of how the Lord brought this gift into our lives!

We had to sadly cancel the informational adoption meeting that was set up for the next day. We do, however, still have a heart to adopt. We are unsure how and when and what that entails or how we are going to afford it, but we know that if it is God's will, He will provide the means to adopt!

My Thoughts on the Movie "Divided"

A recently released free online documentary entitled "Divided" has generated a lot of interest in the past month or so. I was blessed last week to receive an email from a friend asking for my thoughts on the movie. The movie discusses the issue of young people leaving the faith once they go off to college, and essentially pins the blame on churches for doing "age segregated ministry" (like Sunday School or Youth Groups). It is very important that we think through these issues biblically. I thought I would share some of what I shared with them:

Thank you so much for not only sharing, but also asking for my input. I watched "Divided" about a month ago shortly after it was released. I hope that you will consider some thoughts that I have on this movie, evaluate it in light of Scripture, and hold fast only to what is good (1 Thessalonians 5:21).

I enjoyed watching the documentary, and it got me thinking quite a bit. I'll start by sharing some good things about it, and then share my concerns.

1. I appreciate especially the emphasis on the need for parents to disciple their children, and for the church to support parents in that. This is truly biblical (Deuteronomy 6:6-9), and vitally important. It is the most important aspect of children's/youth ministry.

2. I appreciate the renewed awareness that “youth ministry” as defined as bringing kids in, entertaining them, being hip, and sharing something from the Bible is not effective. I disagree, however, that the appropriate answer to this problem is to eliminate youth ministry altogether.

That leads to my concerns, which I would say are serious and ask you to consider carefully and openly:

1. I was dismayed by the fact that the video lumps all churches with any type of youth group into the same unbiblical category. I must respectfully disagree with this. The mega-church with a rock and roll youth worship service that takes place during the adult service is lumped in with churches like SCC. Many churches, including SCC, have both a time of age specific ministry (take the youth for example), and corporate family worship/teaching in which the youth participate with their parents. Children’s church during the sermon is optional, and parents may decide where they want their children during that time. This is because SCC supports parents in their responsibility to disciple their children. For example, parents who send their children to Children's Church understand that there is also a danger in keeping their children in the service while they color or some similar activity because it trains them to be indifferent to the Word of God. They learn that church is boring and not relevant for them. Instead, some parents would rather send their children to a time of truth teaching that engages their children at the level they are at so that they learn that God's Word is important and relevant to them at their age.

2. I was dismayed by the fact that this video gives the impression that any type of age specific ministry is wrong and pagan. They cite the fact that Scripture does not command us to divide by age, which is true, but neither does it command us not to. Ultimately, this is going beyond what is written (1 Corinthians 4:6). When the FIC (Family Integrated Church) movement, (the NCFIC produced this movie), goes to the extent of calling any age segregated ministry unbiblical, they themselves are unfortunately stepping outside the bounds of Scripture.

3. You should be aware that this is not a new debate, but this video and its availability online for all to see gives many the impression that it is new. There is good reason why most evangelicals have rejected the movement. It requires discernment to sort through these issues, because like most things, there is some truth to what they are saying, particularly in regard to the importance of parental discipleship. However, FIC takes this to an unbiblical extreme that we must reject.

4. Like all documentaries, this one is biased in a particular direction. Even though Leclerc (the young man in the documentary) says he is on a journey to discover why young people leave the faith, he has spent his whole life in the FIC movement. He knew the answer he would "discover" before he embarked. He only interviews evangelical leaders in the FIC movement.

5. My greatest concern, and one that I think will resonate with any Christian, is the lack of gospel in this presentation. What saves a lost sinner whether they are 4 years old or 88 years old? The gospel of Jesus Christ and nothing else. Whether you are a family integrated church or not isn't going to be the ultimate deciding factor in the spiritual life of children. It is only going to be the power of God in the gospel of the Son of God while the Word of God takes seed in the heart by the power of the Spirit of God.

I'd like to share a few paragraphs on this issue written by Tim Challies. (You can read the whole article here.) Since Leclerc doesn't interview anyone who disagrees with FIC, I think you'll find this to be helpful:

"What Is the Solution?

If there is a solution to this problem of children abandoning the church it must be a solution that depends upon the gospel. Programs are not the answer. Family integration is not the answer. The gospel is the answer. Where churches and families, where pastors and parents know the gospel and proclaim the gospel, children will be saved. This is true. It is not universally true; there are some children who grow up with every possible favor the Lord could bestow upon them and who reject it. But by and large where the gospel is preached and spoken and whispered and celebrated, the Lord works.

I wonder how many of those 7 out of 10 kids who abandon the church, how many of the 94 percent, how many of the 6 of 10—however you want to interpret the numbers—I wonder how many of them have ever truly encountered the true gospel. I wonder how many have heard that gospel and then seen it consistently lived out in the lives of parents and friends’ parents and pastors and young people and old people. I have no doubt that 60 or 70 percent of young people do, indeed, abandon church. But I have no doubt that far, far fewer than this abandon the church when they have been raised in homes and churches that treasure and model and celebrate the gospel.

I am convinced that the reason so many young people abandon the church is that they have seen far more hypocrisy than gospel; they have had their emotions stirred but never their souls. This can be true in churches that are full of programs—the kinds of churches where every youth event is big and loud and exciting. This can be true in churches that are quiet and controlled and which exposit the Bible.

The Lord works through the gospel. The Lord has always worked through the gospel. The Lord will continue to work through the gospel. If you want to retain the children, if you want to see children saved, if you want to see them passing the faith from generation to generation, immerse your church, immerse your home, immerse your children in the gospel. Adorn your life with the gospel. And then expect the Lord to work."

Additionally, here are a few other articles on the other side of the debate:
http://www.challies.com/dvd-reviews/divided-the-movie

http://www.weswhite.net/2011/04/family-integrated-mathis/
http://zachnoelleputthoff.blogspot.com/2011/08/run-for-your-life-youth-pastors-and.html

I hope that this has been helpful to you. I have great concerns about this movie, and pray that you will prayerfully consider what I have said. We must not go beyond what is written, and we must acknowledge the power, sufficiency, and grace of God offered to us in the gospel and nowhere else.

Infertility and Blessing: Part 2 - What We Learned

Last night Heather wrote a little bit about our story through the trial of infertility. I wanted to follow that up by listing some of the things that God taught us through infertility:

1. Infertility is Difficult
One of the things that surprised both of us was the difficulty of going through infertility, especially since we had both always desired to have children very strongly. The pain, disappointment, discouragement, hope, and alienation are all very poignant. If you know someone who is going through it, encourage them and empathize with them. It goes a long way.

2. God is in Control; We Are Not
While we could do all we could to try and have a baby, we were ultimately powerless to do so. God reminded us how weak and dependent we are and how powerful and sufficient He is.

3. Infertility was an Expression of God's Grace to us
Romans 8:32 says, "He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him graciously give us all things?" We learned in this verse that all things really means all things, including trials. God was using this to sanctify us and make us more like Christ, and that was the specific good He wanted to bring out of it (Romans 8:28-29). He is more concerned about who we are than what we have.This led us to some particularly sweet times of thanksgiving and contentment in our trial.

4. Even Good Desires can be Idolatrous
While the desire to have children is indeed good and right, that desire is not to be elevated above God. At times we were both convicted of doing this very thing. God helped us to put the desire for a child in perspective.

5. Adoption Shows the Gospel
As we started to look into adoption, we were amazed at how adopting a completely helpless orphan is such a vivid picture of what God has done for us in Christ in graciously adopting us into His family based on no merit of our own. We began to get very excited about being able to do this for a child or children.

6. God's Will is Best
We began to affirm what Scripture teaches regarding God's perfect will in our specific situation. Many times we affirm God's sovereignty and other aspects of theology, but fail to see our lives and circumstances in light of them. We began to really believe that God had what was best in mind, and it seemed to be adoption (I'll let Heather finish the story when she posts again).